November 7, 2012 in Uncategorized
I haven’t written a blog post in a long time, I know. And I must apologise.
I can give you many reasons why but they will just all seem like excuses. So, I’m not even going to try.
The purpose I started writing a blog, at first, was to be able to stand up and tell the world what a raw deal life had dealt me – how being paralysed from the neck down is a living hell.
I had an urge to rage about my situation, without feeling guilt for hurting the people I love most in the world or offending all those who do so much for me on a daily basis.
I needed somewhere to convey my sad story by sharing excruciating frustrations, revealing unimaginable physical challenges, stating deep, emotional pain, showing pitiful vulnerability, disclosing some shameful secrets and basically exposing my pathetic life as a quadriplegic.
I wanted a refuge where I could cower and feel sorry for myself away from the pedestal many able-bodied people had put me upon, removing the Miss Inspiration sash and fake smile.
Instead, this blog landed me right in the middle of an unexpected sanctuary as I slowly opened up, bringing on a serene sense of calm to my troubled mind, gently reviving a bruised and battered spirit and providing some profound healing which I didn’t even know that I still needed.
It brought all you special souls from all across the globe into my life, enabling me to feel connected, astonishingly useful and so alive.
Your heartfelt comments encouraged me, providing comfort and solace without you even being aware of it.
This space, then, became a haven where I felt safe enough to continue speaking my truth, baring my soul and expressing my heart.
I can never thank you enough for that, my dear Readers.
Yet, still, I’ve neglected an important part of my life – a vital part of who I am. It’s no wonder, then, that I’ve been feeling an unfathomable restlessness the past months, like a chunk of my soul is missing.
I know, now, where it is. It’s here.
I need to write again. For me.