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How does one deal with frustrating in-laws?

March 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

I have tried.  I have really, really, REALLY made the effort to be the bigger person with my in-laws.  Tried to do the right thing.  Turned the other cheek and made excuses for the most self-involved, selfish and two-faced people you will ever meet.

My reward?  Absolutely nothing.  Then again, how naive must one be, to think that treating rude people with respect might get them to see sense?  How silly of me to forget that people don’t change.  Not unless they actively want to.

I feel like an absolute fool.  I let my guard down, let them in, was positive and friendly and even made a big effort with their gifts.  The payback is a huge slap in the face as they get the last word (again).  I don’t know what I have done to deserve such a nasty sister-in-law.  Judging by her behaviour I’d say it is something truly awful.

We decided to let MIL know about a situation last night.  BIL (and more SIL to be accurate) are famous for making scenes when it suits them.  They like to look like the victims in every case.  We thought we’d let MIL in on what has been happening and a decision we have made.  MIL politely pointed out that BIL never told them any of this.  Obviously, he wouldn’t – why would he let himself look bad in their eyes?  MIL (who makes it her full-time job to meddle in business that isn’t hers, who rants at us when SIL is too much of a chicken to ask us something directly, who stands up for BIL and SIL because they are the favourites said this:  “I really don’t have space on my plate for this.”  This from a woman who is so nosy she knows EVERYONE’s business and makes SURE they know it.  A woman who worships the ground her eldest son and daughter in law walk on but treats the youngest one and his wife as if they are nothing.

We didn’t ask her to stand up for us or make a scene (we leave that to BIL and SIL).  We just calmly explained what was going on so that she wasn’t caught off guard later in the week when she sees them.  Their version of the story will obviously be very different.

I don’t know how other people deal with ghastly in-laws.  Just wish I knew how to stop it from getting to me.

Any suggestions welcome.

xxx

8 responses to How does one deal with frustrating in-laws?

  1. I would just withdraw from them completely. They cause you nothing but frustration and pain so I say quite frankly… FUCK’Em! You and Hubby go on about your lives and leave them (and all the drama and negativity) behind.

    • I’m actually going to finally just do this. BIL and SIL are not welcome in our lives and I’m going to pretty much ignore FIL and MIL. Their lives revolve around BIL and SIL so let them do everything for them. Any politeness I show to FIL will be purely for hubby’s sake because these insane people are his family (I live in hope that he was switched at birth and has normal relatives somewhere out there).

      • It’s the best thing you can do, for your own wellbeing. Be pleasant when you have to but keep your distance as much as possible.

        • I am definitely keeping my distance – I made the mistake of letting them in and I’ve learnt my lesson!

          • the best thing to do is to let them go and let them be.you have tried to be part of them but it seems like they are not welcoming you with open hearts and arms. so for ur sanity sake. leave them alone and concentrate on your own family with ur hubby.

  2. I’m doing that these days – just letting them be – I don’t need people like that. I will be polite but my days of always being nice and trying to be the bigger person are long over.

  3. Also been married to a mommy’s boy for 8 years! Finally got too much – getting divorced this year. Mother interfered too much and phoned her son every single day!!

    • Sorry to hear that :(
      BIL is a total mommy’s boy (MIL worships the ground he walks on) Hubby and I mean very little to my MIL. We are lucky to get one phone call a month!

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