Hedgie

We all know that most people do it.  It is just one of those things we don’t advertise to the world.  Re-gifting.  Recycling.  AKA finding a good home for a gift you don’t like or cannot use.  No-one likes to own up to it so I’ll go first.  I have a really sweet and thoughtful relative who often gives tops which unfortunately don’t always fit me (although I am very flattered she thinks I’m an XS).  Add to this, the fact that I’m a rather conservative dresser - so very loud and busy animal prints don’t really suit me, (neither did the bright red, one shouldered top received one Christmas) and you will see my point.  BUT because I love this aunt and because I appreciate the thought she puts into each gift I try to make the most of it.  I will give it to someone I know can pull off one-sleeve tops and on occasion I have worn the busy animal print t-shirts while cleaning the house.  Yes I look like a human Zebra with a vacuum cleaner but so be it.

The point is I don’t re-gift these AS gifts – I give them for no special occasion to someone who I know can use it.  I don’t save it up for a birthday or Christmas which apparently sets me aside from serial re-gifters.  I still have a laugh at the time I received a pack of fragranced shelf covers.  You know those big, thick sheets of paper you put in your wardrobe or drawers?  Yes it did look slightly opened.  Yes the frangrance had dissapeared.  Yes there was even one missing.  Which makes me think the gift giver made a genuine mistake because no-one would purposely give a half opened gift?  Or maybe I’ve missed something (and it wasn’t just the one sheet of frangrance-free paper?)

My in-laws are fabulous gift-re-givers.  Even the gift bag is re-used over and over.  And not in the – no tag attached and slightly crinkled way - but in the way they will give a grown up a bag which was previously given to a baby.  For the record I don’t disagree with re-using gift bags in the least but at least make it look like it was meant for the person who is having a special day.  You wouldn’t give a Christmas gift bag to someone in June for instance!

The thing with re-gifting is no-one EVER says something.  We all just ooh and aah over the very-obviously-re-gifted item and then make a mental note who to unload it onto.

Serial re-gifters are known to make a note of who gave what to avoid uncomfortable situations.  Perhaps the receiver in the next story should have had a pen and paper ready when she unwrapped her present…..  One of my cousins gave a close relative of hers a really special gift for her birthday.  It was as my cousin confirmed so nice – she would have really liked one for herself.  They say we should be careful what we wish for and I think it is very true in this case.  A few months later guess what found its way back to my cousin?  Yes - her original gift was given back by the original receipient.  Without batting an eyelid this lady handed over the gift to my cuzzie and thought all was well with the world.  That takes guts.  Or sheer stupidity.

What are your thoughts on re-gifting?  Is it clever or cheap?

xxx

Years ago I worked in a small office with a closely knit group of colleagues.  Since they had all been there for ages and sat next to each other for 8 and a half hours a day it was only natural that they were a big part of each others lives.  A few times we would go for drinks or a bite to eat after work and everyone always had a great time.  It was like a tight little group of friends that happened to work together.  When I left the company to go a much smaller firm I found I missed bits of the old office.  Yet with a secret relief I didn’t miss the times there were fallouts which, when you are in each other’s faces all day is only inevitable.  I didn’t miss the stony silences, clipped retorts, curt communication when someone had done something to piss someone else off.  The drama was something I didn’t miss but the sense of comraderie was something that still sticks out in my mind.

Fast forward to nearly a decade later and I now work in a big company where I deal with many colleagues all day long.  It is great – I don’t miss the small company politics and I enjoy working with loads of people and catching up around the coffee trolley or nattering in the kitchen.  I have a few close friends that I spend lunchtimes with and we sometimes socialise after hours where we will end up being the loudest table in the restaurant.  I keep in contact with a number of old colleagues – they became close friends while we worked together – it seemed natural to stay in touch after they left.

And yet one incident with a colleague at work made my work life unbearable over a year ago.  One person actually made me want to actually leave a job I enjoy – just so I wouldn’t have to see her.  When you work with over 100 lovely people it is such a shame when one nasty mean girl is hell bent on making your working hours as unpleasant as can be.  The worst bit?  It could have all been avoided had I not become friendly with her.  If I had simply greeted this person on her first day in the office and left it at that.  But no, the nice person who tries to be friendly and think the best of everyone had to go and become friends with the new girl nearly seven years ago.  In my defence we did go on to have nearly 5 years of wonderful friendship.  She was at one stage the friend I was closest to in the whole company and she lied saying I was the exact same to her.  She was the sort of thoughtful friend you grow to cherish – gave birthday presents that you knew she had put loads of thought into.  Messages when you were off sick, chocolate on your desk if you received bad news, lifts to office functions and a lunchtime gym buddy all rolled into one.  A caring, thoughtful friend.  Yes she seemed to know alot of colleagues personal business.  Yes she spoke about most people behind their backs and yes I did hear warning sirens a couple of times.   But I kept thinking to myself that a person so thoughtful would never do the same to me.  I based this assumption on the fact that we were friends.  Friends didn’t do that to each other.  I was a naive fool.

I went on to do something that was so unlike me, I sometimes wonder if I would/could or should do it all over again.  I stood up for myself – letting her know I knew what she’d been doing and saying behind my back.  See bullies aren’t just happy hurting you, they also need to alienate you from those around you.  The best way she could do it was to get me to doubt my other colleagues (actually went as far as to imply they were the ones gossiping) so that I’d end up trusting her more.  She never thought I’d actually question and confront her about it.  The many long months that followed were really awful and made me regret ever getting close to a colleague.  I wished I could go back and undo it all – never get involved with someone who was so intent on dragging high school into the office environment.  It got to the stage where I’d put off going to the ladies or to the office kitchen.   Even then my timing in most instances was dreadful (I would ALWAYS run into her) but I did my best to ignore the rudeness.  It was so draining.  I had enough to deal with regarding actual work – keeping clients happy, meeting deadlines and being a good employee.  No-one gets paid for sitting in the ladies fighting back tears because one colleague is being as unpleasant as possible.  It was worse than a scene from high school mixed with an episode of Survivor.   We were all grown up and there was no big prize at the end – yet one person is adamant to stab you in the back.

Bullies are brilliant actors but eventually they have to let their guard down.   Over the years a handful of people have seen her true personality seep through but even still, no-one has ever actually stood up to her.  Why would they?   Nobody wants to be the next target.  It has gotten easier but I constantly feel myself putting up walls to prevent it ever happening again.  I only recently told a close work friend that I was on Facebook – I was that adamant to keep my personal life away from the office.  This is a work friend that has been nothing but nice to me, but who I have constantly pushed away for three years.  When new staff join, I have my barriers in place and I often feel guilty when time passes and I see what lovely people they are.  It is something I am working on constantly – I don’t want to let anyone at work get close to me so that they can hurt me in the future.  I can open up and share online my deepest secrets but I will push away someone I see everyday at work.  It may sound crazy but having a fallout with a work friend is so much worse than any other friend as you see that person every day on your floor!  You sit a few offices apart and run into them all day long.  So if you have a fallout, it isn’t as simple as ignoring their e-mails or texts.  You see them all the time.  I don’t want to be an anti-social colleague who pushes everyone away but I cannot help wondering if it really is a good idea to keep ones distance to colleagues?  Was this so-called friend my warning?  On the other hand, am I risking my present office friendships and preventing any future ones just because of one nasty person?  I often wonder if I’m letting one person win or just being sensible.  Is it a good idea to be close friends with colleagues?

xxx

So it seems the colder weather is here.  Of course I’m wearing sandals today – I am one of those people that will bravely wear summer clothes in the hope it brings back the warmer weather.  I know I complain when it is extremely hot and then I say how I’m looking forward to the cooler weather but I love that autumn-not-quite-winter temperature.  It isn’t unbearably warm but you don’t have to layer to stay comfortable.

Anyway I have discovered that this cooler weather is wonderful for long, relaxing soaks in the bath.  I’ve always been a shower person, never understood the whole candles-by-the-bath-and-a-glass-of-wine.  On tv it always looks so soothing – everything is fixed with a long bath.  Now being the book worm and tea addict that I am, I have combined the three.  Yes, a cup of tea, bubble bath and book is a truly wonderful way to de-stress after work.  Obviously I only do this with my own books – could never return a book looking slightly worse for wear after the steam has gotten to it (I am saying this in case fellow book addicts are reading this and vowing to never lend me a book).

I find I can spend ages in the bath now and this weather is perfect for it.  Immersed in bubbles and sipping my tea is absolute bliss.  Apparently you are supposed to visualise all your stresses and worries washing away when you pull the plug and the bath empties.

What is your simple pleasure?

xxx

There are 3 unavoidable things in life:  taxes, death and the office collection.

I am going to say on a scale of one to ten with ten being extremely bad, office collections rank at nine.  Maybe nine and a half at times.

Over the years of doing this dreadful deed I have found out the various personalities that make up an office are all shown the moment you do an office collection.  Now 95% of colleagues I have worked with over the years at various companies are awesome but do an office collection and you will see a side to the other 5% which you have not seen before.  So here it is, the list of people who will make up the office collection drama:

- The I’m too sick/busy/important/selfish to do the actual collection:  This is the person who will dump the ghastly task on you.  Often they are not in your department.  Or even on your floor.  But because you have shared more than one conversation with the person getting married/having a baby/leaving  - you will be asked to help.  Oh joy.

You send out your e-mail to all staff informing them of X’s impending wedding/baby shower/farewell and then the performance begins with the following:

- The blatantly stingy ones:  You have barely clicked send and they have typed a reply with a curt “I will not be contributing Tks”.  I swear they have a typed up e-mail in their drafts to deal with collections – it is physically impossible to type that fast.  Please note these people are also the ones who refuse to sign cards and shoo you away from their desks as if you are a bad smell.   It doesn’t cost to be polite but these folk clearly didn’t receive that memo.

- The grudge holder:  they refuse to give because x said something to them in 2007.  Now this is between them and x but you will hear the pathetic story when you approach their desk clutching your collection envelope and a shred of enthusiasm.  They don’t tell you beforehand because then they will be done out of boring you to tears with why they find x so offensive since the 2007 incident.  Since you are often stuck doing x’s collection more than once, you will hear the story multiple times.  Grudge holders often spend lunchtimes alone (I am not implying there is a link – I am just stating a fact).

- The tight fisted donor:  This is the person that takes the envelope from you so that you cannot see what they put inside (most normal people hand over their donation) but that would be too easy.  You are guaranteed after visiting this person to find a very odd amount in the collection which will include a 20c coin.  They also refuse to write a proper message in the card, preferring to write their name in it and leave it like that.   Could someone out there please tell me what sort of message a scrawled name is?  The tight fisted donor is also known to ask you what the collection is for as if they are far too busy to possibly keep track of what is going on around them.  After all, storing up 20c coins is a time consuming activity.

- The winner of the staring completion:  They sign the card with the longest congratulations/farewell note known to anyone, hand back the card and stare at you until you leave their desk.  They never give to any collection.  Ever.  Ironically this is the person who will be beneficiary of most collections.  They really will ensure they are the receipient of numerous collections before leaving and cashing in on the final farewell gift.

- The missing colleague:  They tell you to come back and then everytime you do, you find a closed door or hear they are in a meeting.  Far away.  They only return after you have gone away with your envelope and greeting card.  Then after the collection is finished they suddenly want to contribute.  “Oh dear, you have already bought the gift?” Concern and confusion with a furrowed brow (they like to look generous).  I usually just smile and nod while thinking:   Yes cheapskate, the gift was bought three weeks ago.

I know times are tough and budgets are tight but a polite “not this collection” or “sorry I can’t this time” goes a long way.  As does “I’d rather not, thanks” as the grudge holder should do once in a while.  It doesn’t cost to have manners and that missing ingredient is what makes most collections so unpleasant.  There is a massive difference between cannot give and will not give.

I have learnt over the years that the best way to deal with a collection is to take no notice of the stingy folk and instead focus on the generosity you will find in the other 95% of your colleagues.  Some will give and merrily sign a card as they are very happy that x is getting hitched or having a baby or perhaps (as I am sure has been the case in some offices) leaving.  They know what an absolutely horrible task collections can be.  Also the drama that accompanies the collection is between the recipient and the abovementioned characters.  You are merely carrying the envelope and card and doing something nice for a colleague.  Stingy people forget they too will one day have a collection done for them and believe me that is one collection you do not want to be saddled with.

xxx

I have tried.  I have really, really, REALLY made the effort to be the bigger person with my in-laws.  Tried to do the right thing.  Turned the other cheek and made excuses for the most self-involved, selfish and two-faced people you will ever meet.

My reward?  Absolutely nothing.  Then again, how naive must one be, to think that treating rude people with respect might get them to see sense?  How silly of me to forget that people don’t change.  Not unless they actively want to.

I feel like an absolute fool.  I let my guard down, let them in, was positive and friendly and even made a big effort with their gifts.  The payback is a huge slap in the face as they get the last word (again).  I don’t know what I have done to deserve such a nasty sister-in-law.  Judging by her behaviour I’d say it is something truly awful.

We decided to let MIL know about a situation last night.  BIL (and more SIL to be accurate) are famous for making scenes when it suits them.  They like to look like the victims in every case.  We thought we’d let MIL in on what has been happening and a decision we have made.  MIL politely pointed out that BIL never told them any of this.  Obviously, he wouldn’t – why would he let himself look bad in their eyes?  MIL (who makes it her full-time job to meddle in business that isn’t hers, who rants at us when SIL is too much of a chicken to ask us something directly, who stands up for BIL and SIL because they are the favourites said this:  “I really don’t have space on my plate for this.”  This from a woman who is so nosy she knows EVERYONE’s business and makes SURE they know it.  A woman who worships the ground her eldest son and daughter in law walk on but treats the youngest one and his wife as if they are nothing.

We didn’t ask her to stand up for us or make a scene (we leave that to BIL and SIL).  We just calmly explained what was going on so that she wasn’t caught off guard later in the week when she sees them.  Their version of the story will obviously be very different.

I don’t know how other people deal with ghastly in-laws.  Just wish I knew how to stop it from getting to me.

Any suggestions welcome.

xxx

I am one of those girls that cannot tolerate fake people.  You know the two-faced “friend” who compliments you and then cuts you down to anyone who will listen?  The sympathetic  colleague who pretends to care, before spreading rumours behind your back.  That insincere in-law who is so friendly to your face, then bad mouths you the moment you are out of earshot.

People like this drain me.  They test my patience and my trust and I try to keep a distance.  Yet, with technology I am not finding this easy.  Take my old BlackBerry for instance – before I knew it, I had a long list of contacts and many were people I didn’t like very much!  Yet, how do you say no to an unfriendly colleague when they send you an e-mail requesting your BBM pin?  Then before you know it, you find yourself a part of someone’s daily updates (most of which are bragging, ranting or indescribable statuses that can simply be summed up as Too Much Information).   And it is from people you don’t like and (judging by their behaviour) don’t like you!  But no, it is suddenly imperative to be a part of each other’s lives through technology.  We collected stickers when we were in primary school, now as adults we collect contacts like it is going out of fashion.

When I  joined Facebook  I purposely didn’t broadcast the fact.  The reason?  I only want to be in contact with people I genuinely like.  When I joined, I sent requests to close family and friends, old colleagues I missed and school friends I hadn’t seen in years.  It has been really enjoyable reconnecting with those I had lost contact with but I am keeping my group of friends small as I only want to share with people I actually care about.  I also prefer to only read and catch up with people who care about me.  I am not interested in what the mean girls from school are up to.  What amazes me is how many people who despised each other in high school, are all buddies on Facebook.  Yes, maybe they did move on from the past and good for them if they did – but have a look at your friend’s list of friends and you will spot people they openly don’t like/aren’t talking to/find rude etc still popping up on their timeline.  I have seen people have a massive fall out but stay Facebook friends.  People who cut contact with people but keep them as a BBM contact.  So you can openly dislike someone to their face but you cannot unfriend/unfollow or delete them?  Have I missed something?  I know some people use Facebook as a means to tell everyone about their fabulous lives.  Articles have been written about the over-sharing and endless boasting that takes place and clutters up timelines all over the world.  So clearly the folk from my school days have looked past who called who a slut in Grade 11, in order to share or brag (you choose!) to their old classmates.  Is it a way to say “look everyone I really did learn how to dress like a lady” or is it a reminder that no matter how well we think we know people, we really don’t know them at all?  And speaking of not knowing people, what is up with getting friendship requests from people you have never met, spoken to or even heard of?  We have one mutual friend but if I don’t know you, why would you think we are friends?  Again am I missing something?  I see people with over 600 friends on Facebook so maybe I am doing something very wrong.

People often complain about those who lock their Twitter accounts.  I use this function because I prefer that my status updates and random photos are not out there for all to see.  I am one of those people that wouldn’t like a bad day at work to be broadcasted to everyone.  I understand that some cannot understand that and in their opinion Twitter is about following as many as possible and getting lots of follow backs.  I respect those who open up for the world but I prefer to connect with people I know or those I admire.  I adore following authors and others who love books as much as I do.  I enjoy catching up with an ex colleague who moved to Jo’burg, friends overseas and 2 colleagues I chat to in the office.  Yet the other day my follower requests included someone I couldn’t describe as very nice.  We have very little in common and even less to talk about.  She has been downright rude over the years, sweet when it suited her and is one of those people that you just cannot figure out.  Why would someone who cannot be considered friendly (never mind a friend) want to read my tweets?  If you have been rather rude over the phone to me for years, why would I like to read about you on my phone.  Am I being antisocial for not clicking “accept”?

Which brings me to another question :  has saying “no” online become taboo?  Can we be as unpleasant as possible to each other in the office/at parties/at family get togethers but be best of mates on Facebook and Twitter?  Is this really what being social is about?  I have an in-law who has been so sour over the years, she makes expired milk look welcoming.  Yet I mentioned I had a BlackBerry and hold it! Drop everything!  Her BB is hauled out and we became BBM contacts in seconds.  This is from someone who asks me how old I am during most of her perfunctory birthday phone calls (we are that close).  I politely commented on numerous status updates (tried to be the bigger person and do the right thing) but never got a peep when my gran had a massive op and I was worried sick.  For this person, BBM was for broadcasting her fabulous existence – treat those in real life like rubbish but bombard them with pictures and news.  Up to four times.  In one afternoon.

I just don’t get it and maybe I’m not supposed to.  Maybe the future is filled with everyone knowing everyone’s business, being as mean as they want to, but sending you requests to like pages of theirs.  The fact you avoid each other in real life doesn’t matter.  Maybe we are meant to be as fake as possible – faux fur and faux friendships.  Maybe the one with the most friends/followers and contacts wins.  I hope not, but maybe this is something we cannot fight.  Maybe I am meant to openly share my inner thoughts and birthday photos with people I want nothing to do with.  Maybe this is the new way of ‘being social’.  The people who meet genuine friends for coffee and a chat will be looked at with disdain while everyone accumulates as many friends as possible on the web.

They say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is this how we will do it going forward?   By disliking someone in real life but still constantly clicking ‘like’ online?

I’ve had my blog for over 4 years now and I love the freedom that comes with filling a screen with feelings and thoughts and just putting it out there.  These are the reasons I love to blog:

- I have always loved words.  Ever since we did a short story in primary school I decided that I loved to write.  I was 8 years old with pigtails and a terribly untidy handwriting but I still remember that Thursday morning when I thought to myself “I am really enjoying this”.  I didn’t get to follow my dream of studying journalism and so in between working full time as a PA I have completed a creative writing course through correspondence and hope to do more in the future.  I blog to keep my creativity alive and counteract the work days filled with numbers and spreadsheets.

- I get to remove my mask.  To some family members, friends and colleagues I am this calm and collected individual who never says no and takes everything in her stride.  The girl who says yes to work even though she shouldn’t, who smiles when she doesn’t feel like it and puts others first.  The girl who takes other people’s moods and nastiness and doesn’t retaliate because no-one expects her to.  When I blog I let the real me out.  The real me gets frustrated.  She gets angry.  She has an opinion and doesn’t hide it.  She is also creative.  Through blogging the real me gets to escape and be herself.  She doesn’t have to justify and explain or trip over her words.  She just gets to be herself.  I can never explain how refreshing that is.

- I went through a really rough time at work over a year ago.  Anyone who has ever had a falling out with a toxic friend will agree it is unpleasant.  Try seeing that person every single day at work and you will see how dreadful it can be.  Some days were so bad I felt overwhelmed by it all and since it wasn’t a work issue I felt I couldn’t say anything.  I have since found out that HR is available to discuss these things but at the time I felt like opening up would make me a a telltale.  On days when the atmosphere was particulary bad, I would log in and just write about it.  It was that or moving my pc to the ladies and hiding there for months.  Fellow bloggers were so supportive – one lady sent me a newsletter she had written about how harmful nasty gossip is (it was being on the receiving end of malicious gossip and standing up for myself that resulted in the fall out).  Lots of bloggers gave advice and just let me know I wasn’t alone.  The storm blew over and things improved but being able to open up about something that was hurting me was priceless.

- Take one it-is-all-about-me-and-my-family-sister-in-law, an oblivious brother-in-law and a mother-in-law who worships the ground they walk on and you have a few reasons for wanting to scream out loud.  Sadly this is not possible at the best of times.  So I blog about it and it relieves the stress of always having to be the bigger person and smile at these inane relatives who think the world revolves around them and only them.  Blogging has been a wonderful opportunity to swap horror stories of “the out-laws”.  I know I’m not alone and others have had similar experiences.

- Blogging led to an awesome friendship.  I attended a MOB (meeting of bloggers) years ago and chatted to a fellow blogger at the lunch.  We stayed in contact and often meet up for coffee or to catch a movie.  There is always loads to discuss as we have so much in common.  I will forever be grateful to blogging for that.

- It is my secret.  Only three people I know are aware of my blog and I hope to keep it that way.  With Facebook and Twitter I feel as if I am constantly censuring myself.  This is not the case with blogging.

- It is a wonderful way to get honest opinions.  Sometimes I will be mulling something over in my head and it is great way to get a second opinion or a fresh take on a situation.  Fellow bloggers have been more open and honest than some of my closest friends.  Plus with blogging I don’t have colleagues staring at me the next day when I’ve mentioned something personal (to one person) who has broadcasted it to the entire company (yes that has happened to me).

So there you have it.  Blogging is awesome and everyone should give it a try.

xxx

I often feel that bad moods are like colds and flu – unpleasant and highly contagious.  When you spend time with positive people and have a laugh, you automatically feel better.  In the company of negative and moody people who are adament to find something wrong with everything is a draining experience.  They are like energy vampires, seeing you are happy about something – anything – and in they swoop (although instead of fangs, they wear a venemous expression that makes your good morning greeting wither on your lips).

I try to leave my work at work which means I leave home at home.  I don’t bring my ironing to the office so why bring your partner/family/friend/cat drama with you?  I try to be polite and listen with an attentive look of my face and my reward for being kind?  A thunderous expression the next day when I show concern for your partner/family/friend/cat and a snotty “it is the LAST thing I’m thinking of”.  Really?  I had to listen to you bang on about it for ages in the office kitchen, ladies restroom, your desk, my desk and the tea trolley.  But it is a pleasure for asking and showing I care.  I am good enough to hear the endless boasting – again I must wear my attentive face and nod and smile accordingly – but when things go pear shaped we must all back off and patronise the sulky woman in the corner who is stressed.  I also get stressed.  I don’t rock up for work for the free coffee and to play with my highlighters.  Stressed, tired and agitated are also things I feel during the day.  I just try to keep it in perspective and I don’t take it out on my colleagues. I have never lashed out at someone when they sent an e-mail at what I felt was at an inappropriate time.  We are ALL busy.  I don’t get snappy with anyone at the office when I have deadlines and they are asking a question I have answered numerous times before. It is called patience – and it is high time more people learned it!

It is common decency to treat those around you as you would like to be treated, yet why are more and more people not doing that?  Maybe some people enjoy eating lemons for breakfast because it means they can walk around with a sour expression on their faces for the rest of the day.  I suggest they be careful though, people might actually start avoiding them.  Or they will start bringing a flask to work (saves so much time in the office kitchen).

How do you deal with people that are adament to spread their bad mood?

xx

There is a saying which goes something like:  Life is too short to wake up with regrets.  So love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t.

Why is that so much easier said than done?  The first bit makes sense, the second part too – but the last bit?  Why is it so difficult to forget those who give you grief?  Who try steal your sunshine and make you feel bad about yourself.  Those that manage to get the last word no matter how low they have to stoop.  Why is it so difficult to just forget them?  I guess if you have the misfortune of seeing them often and don’t have amnesia then blocking them out is tricky.

Buy why?  Why is it sometimes so difficult to focus on ones blessings and instead give head space to inconsiderate idiots (who then end up winning anyway because you have let them live rent-free in your head)?  They mill around in your mind for hours or longer with their sarcastic comments and smug expressions as you think up all the things you could have said or done but didn’t.  They always get their way because everyone around them always gives in.  They walk over people and use them to their own advantage and no-one ever says anything.  You say something and they lash out.  Due to being a decent human being, you make the first move, extend the olive branch and do the right thing.  Your reward for being the better person and putting yourself in their selfish shoes is being walked over again and again.

My other thought for the day (and yes it is totally linked to the above).  What is the main difference between in-laws and out-laws?  Out-laws are wanted.

xxx

This weekend has been awesome and I don’t want it to end.  Why does time always fly when you are having fun?

Friday night, hubby and I had a braai after work which was a great way to start the weekend.  I love braais, always so relaxing and I love toasting marshmallows (when I remember to get them at the shop).

Saturday was my 30th birthday party and it was wonderful.  I was thoroughly spoilt with gifts (I promise I haven’t opened any presents yet – going to wait for my birthday!).  A very special friend was there and it was lovely to introduce her to my family.  I think everyone enjoyed themselves and I felt very lucky to spend an afternoon surrounded by all the important people in my life.

Today was a quiet day.  After the early church service I caught up on the ironing and then hubby and I went to get 2 new plants for the garden.  Had a snack at the restaurant at the nursery which was nice – I love garden shops

Going to have a late supper shortly and then chill out on the couch.

Have a great evening everyone.

xxx