by

How difficult is it to read an invitation?

January 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

Since when did reading an invitation become too much of an effort?

I ask this as I’m bewildered at a new trend of sending out an invitation that explains your party plans and getting a reply which proves the content was neither read nor understood.

I’m trying to plan a girly get-together with some good friends for my birthday.  I first sent out a message asking people to keep the date open and mentioned what I’d had planned. A ladies lunch with just a small group of us ladies.

So can someone please explain to me why am I getting a rsvp for a friend and her boyfriend?  “We’ll be there” (when I clearly stated it was a girly gathering) makes me wonder if people actually bother to read invitations.

I’ve heard loads of stories of how people don’t rsvp or do it too late but not even bothering to read an invitation takes laziness to a new level.

A friend of mine has had issues with her friends bringing kids to adult only parties.  She has said goodbye to her clean and stain free carpet as well as a peaceful evening just to keep someone happy.  This woman either cannot read or chooses not to read what is in the invitation.

When did manners (and lets face it we are seeing less and less of good manners these days) take yet another nosedive?

Since when is reading an invitation and respecting the host’s wishes that difficult?

What are your thoughts?

xx

by

Novemberitis of note

November 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

Last year this time I was feeling rather smug due to the fact that I had kept Novemberitis at bay.  If this ailment was like the flu, then I had dosed myself with enough vitamin C to turn into an orange.  I was feeling fine.

This year is another story.  I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month – participants write a minimum of 50,000 words in 30 days) for the second year and it has been an uphill battle.  I keep falling behind on my word count.  I battle to keep motivated.  It feels like a chore instead of a joy.  I have never felt that way about writing before.

My gran has been ill so I’ve been stressing over that.  She is in her late 80′s so everything hits her really hard.  The rest of us could shrug off an illness but my gran is going into her second week of being terribly sick.  She has been to the Dr, she has taken her meds but she isn’t shaking this off.

Oh and we were in a car accident the other day so our car will have to be sent away for repairs shortly.  As usual it wasn’t our fault but what can you do?  I have never been in a car accident before – it wasn’t massive – we were all okay and the car can be driven just fine – but it was a shock.  The sound of the other car braking too late and the jolt as the car hit ours – it wasn’t pleasant but seems to be on auto-replay in my head.

Last night I tried to do some cake decorating but managed to mess even that up.  Hubby and I are going to a birthday party tomorrow after work and I have 50% of the birthday girl’s present bought and ready to wrap.  The other half will hopefully be baked and decorated tonight if all goes well.  Of course Mrs Hedgie told everyone her elaborate plans for these awesome cucpakes she was going to put together so now I HAVE to make them.

Just feeling horrendously stressed out :( It has been an awful month.  I feel like it will never end.

xxx

by

The food police

October 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

You know how there is always a member of the fashion police around?  Well food police are becoming increasingly popular.  Everyone knows of one.  You know the in-law/friend/colleague/acquaintance-you-barely-know-from-a-bar-of-soap who has been to a dietician or a nutritionist or even read a food related article.  Now they are the ultimate expert on what goes in your mouth and feel it their duty to point out the calorie content of EVERYTHING.

They start off slow.  Sugar vs honey.  Cous cous vs rice.  Low fat vs fat free.  They don’t want to scare you off but before you can utter “low GI” you have their detailed eating plan sitting on your desk as they rave about their new dietician and all they are learning.  Which is great for them.  You give encouraging words and hope they’ll be on their way.  They don’t move along.  You are now a source of interest for the newly appointed food police and they are happy to monitor and dispense unwanted advice.  Every day.  Endless updates regarding their healthy choices are made to you.  The thing is, over the years you too have learnt about healthy food options so you might not necessarily need this constant barrage of food information sent your way.  E-mails on cleansing.  Dangers of eating xyz.  Advantages of starting the day drinking this not that.  Endless advice on “eat this, NOT that”.  And my personal favourite (please note I am being sarcastic) the fascinating feedback relating to last nights dinner.  This is where you are given a detailed account of everything the food police ate at their favourite restaurant the previous evening and how GOOD they felt.

For the record I’ve learnt to not even bother not agreeing with the food police (no matter how wrong their viewpoint on a certain dish may be).  You will not earn yourself some silent treatment (a treat that could rival full cream ice-cream at this point).  No, your punishment will be more detailed lectures as they try to teach you right from wrong.

So to the food police everywhere I will say this - going to a dietician or a nutritionist or reading a health magazine does not make you an expert on food.  You do not have to walk around the office dispensing the advice while you sip your lemon water and think you are the new food guru.

It is like me saying I go to the toilet so I’m a qualified plumber.

But tell me what do you do with the food-police in your life?

xx

 

by

It is not me….it is actually you…

September 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

I have realised that life is too short for fakes.  Faux fur – thumbs up but faux friendships are a huge no-no from me.  And so over the last couple of years I have been distancing myself from toxic people and making room for genuine friends.  Have met some awesome people I’m proud to call friends.  Ladies who brighten up a busy work morning with an e-mail.  Who make me laugh out loud over a coffee.  Who share my love for books.  Who understand what my writing means to me.  I feel very fortunate to have these women in my life.

And as time has gone by I’ve realised I don’t have time for the fakes anymore.  I no longer want to be in their company – I literally cannot stand being around them.  I find them draining – they suck the energy and enthusiasm out of you with their stupid comments and pettiness.  I went through a stage where I blocked alot of people out, something I’m not proud of.  But now that I can identify a genuine friend as opposed to an energy stealing vampire I find I have no patience for the toxic folk in this world.  I don’t need people who cannot be happy for me.  People who try to rain on my parade.  Those ‘friends’ that make everything about them no matter what you are discussing.  The endless negativity and gossip that some so-called friends bring with them – it is just so unneccessary when you’ve spent time getting to know real friends.

I’m battling getting some distance with a colleague who sucks the will to live right out of me.  We both get to work early and so the routine was to have breakfast together in an empty office.  So years of being drained before 7:30 has ensued and I’ve had enough.  I cannot do it anymore.  I’ve made many excuses – I’m busy/I have homework from a course I’m doing/have to send an e-mail/would rather throw myself out of a window.  The hints have not been gotten.  I get followed to my desk and asked stupid questions and I keep thinking to myself that life is too short for this!  This is a person who is incapable of being happy for others.  Someone I don’t even bother telling when I have a day off work because I get snarky “well who will do your work” asked a hundred times.  Someone who (thankfully) isn’t on my floor or department but thinks they have the right to make me feel guilty for having a day off.  Someone who cannot stand seeing me getting friendly with a colleague (who has been a hell of a lot nicer to me over the years) so she’ll cause friction wherever she can.  So why on earth would I want to eat breakfast with a person like that?  Over the years we have in a group done suppers out with other colleagues and even then she drains the atmosphere with endless negativity.  I physically cannot be around people who will demand everything and then still under-tip the waitress.  So I’ve put an end to doing anything after hours with this ‘friend’ and now just need to get my early mornings back to myself.

Why do toxic people not realise that positive people want nothing to do with them?  How do you distance yourself from people like this?

xxx

 

by

TGIF

September 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

Oh my hat and socks this week has been busy.  I am so drained from running around like a headless chicken all week.  Monday was hectic at work, managed to squeeze in a gym work out, then grocery shopping followed by baking.  Tuesday and Wednesday was even busier at the office and afterwards I had things on both evenings.  Somehow managed to fit in a bit of laundry around the endless to-do list.  Tonight is supper out with friends and tomorrow supper by my parents.

Hubby and I are doing a day trip tomorrow – looking forward to that :)  We like to get up super early and then have breakfast after we arrive.  Then spend a relaxing day before taking a slow drive home.  Nothing planned yet for Sunday except a looooooong lie in and lots of tea in bed.  I feel like I could sleep for a week.

Have a wonderful Friday everyone and an awesome weekend!

xxx

by

This and that

September 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

I feel like everytime I post on my blog I am on my soapbox and/or having a vent so this is a very boring post!

This week has flown by and I need this weekend desperately!  Work has been really busy and I am also nearing the end of a course I signed up for to help with my cake decorating skills.  Yes Mrs Hedgie is a fan of baking.  The course has been amazing and I’ve learnt so much.  I love my box of goodies I bought which is filled with baking tools and gadgets.  I am busy with a chocolate cake which I am going to decorate in a spring theme.

Tomorrow hubby and I are having a date night and I’m so looking forward to that.  Going to a restaurant we haven’t been to before and very excited to try the menu.  I love trying new restaurants and we’ve even got a mini supper club at the moment which has been loads of fun.  Anyway tomorrow is just us and I’m looking forward to some alone time while we catch up and chill out after a hectic week.

There sometimes feels like there just isn’t enough time in the day and it stresses me out so much.  I know being child-free we have loads less responsibility than those with kids, but sometimes I wish there were more hours in the day.  We don’t have a domestic so we do our own cleaning and last night I ironed for ages as hubby had no shirts.  He took care of supper and afterwards I had to have an hour long chat with one of my aunts that has discovered ‘chatting’ online is more fun than e-mail.  Sadly the fact she is a very slow typist makes this a very long process.  I type over 70 words a minute (being a P.A has its advantages) so you can understand how slowly that hour passed.  I checked my Facebook, Twitter, sent an e-mail to another aunt all in that time.  Then the evening was over and it was time for bed.

I’m considering having a weekend with no technology.  No FB, no Twitter, no e-mails.  If people want to get hold of me, they can pick up the phone.  I managed one day a while ago.  Key words: one day.  I find it so difficult to switch off and I think technology plays a huge part.

xxx

 

 

by

Attack of the I-Experts

August 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

I-Experts are everywhere.  You know who I’m talking about.  They loiter everywhere listening with half an ear to what you are saying and then pounce with a 10 minute speech on why their precious opinion is totally different and of course correct.  It starts out innocently enough – you mention something random like the weather or ask if they would like the milk carton you are using in the office kitchen.  Out of nowhere a lecture begins on global warming or the merits of fat free versus full cream milk.  You stand there like a deer in the headlights thinking WTF.

I’ve had so many of these moments with the I-Experts and I’m exhausted.  They drain the joy out of any situation and think they are doing you a favour.  They are smug and condescending and think they have done the world a great service by droning on about crap every minute of every day.  Nothing you say is ever right.  It doesn’t matter if you know your facts, they know better.  You’ve been given advice by a Dr?  They’ve been given the answer by a Specialist.  So there.

A simple conversation or FB status is turned around and made to be ALL about them.  What they thought, what they saw, how they feel.  We all have that relative who makes everything about them.  Then turns around and accuses you of never getting together with them and only ever seeing them at compulsory events like funerals.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve just gotten engaged or bought a home or even something simple like seen a movie.  They will make the situation ALL about them.

And if you are in a group then I-Experts become even more unbearable (difficult to believe but true).  Since there is more than one person to blurt rubbish at they feel threatened the moment a group gets tired of their boring lectures.  I’ve had lunch where people literally take out their phones or open a book to drown out the most opinionated person on earth who thinks she knows everything.  The hint is not taken.  Murphy’s law the only thing I had on me was a till slip which didn’t take much time to read.  Point is people are sick and tired of know-it-alls but these so-called experts are literally to dim to realise that.

Gotta love when you are having a conversation with someone and an I-Expert butts in and demands to know how one earth you can eat the particular food you are discussing.  The offensive item is not something off Fear Factor but was in fact a red velvet cupcake.  It is no problem if you don’t like something but this proves how know-everthings cannot even let a piece of cake go without having some massive opinion on it.

How do you deal with I-Experts?

xxx

 

by

Alcoholic influences on staff parties

August 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

I had a very long week which ended on a sour note.  Our office was treated to a lunch out (got to leave the office early – so we all felt rather lucky).  I usually try to leave with most other people after these social gatherings due largely to the fact that some people don’t know how to drink and behave at the same time.  Let me rephrase that – behave like a decent human being.  Not a teenager who is going to a bar for the very first time.  Work functions are not an excuse to get tanked.  You don’t need to do shots and break glasses and think you are funny to have a good time.  Unfortunately I was being fetched after most people had left (next time I will actually go sit in a different restaurant – I am not joking).

Why do some people think you need to overdo it on the wine before getting rude, personal and offensive (often at the same time)?  I don’t enjoy having a someone (who ironically I already have little respect for) comment about his colleague’s sex life.  What the lady in question does in her spare time is her business.  If she has gotten under your skin at the office, you are pretty childish to retaliate after a few drinks with nasty below-the-belt comments.  She has her way of doing things, it might irritate others but you don’t have the right to assume she isn’t getting laid and that is the reason she is annoying.  The worst bit is no-one stands up for this lady.  I am beyond ashamed of myself because all I did was sit with a crimson face while one person made disgusting comments.  And this lady just sits a table away probably wondering why a group of rude colleagues are staring at her and giggling like pathetic school children.

Not to be outdone, some ladies then start husband-bashing which they feel is necessary to add to the already cringe-worthy atmosphere.  I really don’t feel the need to know about your fights and how lazy you think your husband is.  It really is between the two of you.  I also don’t care that you want to marry for money next time and how your husband and you fight more since your kid arrived.  I sit there with my mind boggling – do people not realise we will have the misfortune of having to see each other in the office?  Do you not think I feel sorry enough for your partners as it is – I already have to restrain myself from giving blatantly sympathetic looks at each year end function.

And then the inevitable trying to drag me into crude, prying conversations – sorry but you can sod off if you think that is acceptable.

Oh and don’t forget the gossiping – just because you have had too much to drink and feel the need to shout – doesn’t mean everyone around you has lost their sense of hearing.  Mouthing off at what you think of staff and how you went through a stage of hating your job (to a Director) is really poor behaviour.  Again do you not think you’ll be running into him the following week?  I am not saying we shouldn’t air our grievances but doing it sober and in an office while you are thinking clearly is alot more productive to ranting to senior management while clutching a glass of wine.

Why do some people completely change their attitudes when they drink?  And why on earth do they think it is acceptable to do it at work functions?  Have I missed something here?

What cringe-worthy experiences have you had the misfortune of witnessing at work functions?

xx

by

Beginners guide to putting yourself first

July 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

I am the girl who cannot say no.  On the rare occassion I utter this forbidden word, it comes out as an apology and I’ll go out of my way to make things right.  The long weekend in June was a typical example.  Saw my family in the afternoon for a celebration, saw in-laws in the evening for another party.  Had plans to see my parents for Father’s Day the following evening.  FIL then suggests something in the morning and is surprised when I say we have plans (and were seeing them that evening anyway).  As with most people who cannot say no – I passed the responsibility (and phone) onto hubby to get us out of it!

Well enough is enough and quite frankly being the girl who cannot say no to anything at work, and most things after hours hasn’t earned me much respect.  If I do not agree to something with a massive smile people are genuinely surprised.  Which says alot.  So this past week involved alot of relatively new things for me – saying no, putting myself first in situations and doing what was best for me.

Day 1:

Plans for a girls night out next month have been finalised and I’ve been looking forward to trying the restaurant that was suggested.  Unfortunately a few days after the booking is made one lady confirms she cannot make it and the organiser suggests another date.

The old me:  wait for someone to say it doesn’t suit them or just miss out on the evening because I cannot rearrange my other plans.  Plus I’m the newest member in this group of friends – I don’t want to rock the boat.

The slightly more assertive me:  immediately let the organiser know this does not suit me – I am away the following weekend.

Day 2:

At work a colleague asks if I’d like to sit on a committee.  In all honesty this committee wouldn’t be necessary if everyone had stuck to deadlines agreed to a couple months ago.

The old me:  give up my time to help others who a) knew about the deadlines b) showed no interest in sticking to them.                                          

The slightly more assertive me:  Said no.  I have absolutely no interest in sitting on said committee.  I worked my backside off to get everything done in time.

Day 3:

My parents have arranged a supper and my Dad’s side of the family are all coming.  Hubby and I have planned a day trip followed by a date night and I’ve really been looking forward to this.  I do not feel like giving this up so that I can listen to a negative uncle complain about everything the entire evening.  Not my idea of fun.

The old me:  Try fit in a quick visit in between the day trip and our date night.  Listen to negative droning.  Feel resentful.

The slightly more assertive me:  Was honest – said that we have plans and will not be postponing it.  Also was open about how draining the negative relative is and unpleasant he can make these family gatherings.  Apparently I am not the only one that feels this way.

Day 4:

Dinner with the in-laws.  We have for a number of months now, put up with alot of rudeness from my brother-in-law and his wife.  BIL and SIL think the world owes them and will walk over anyone to get what they want.  Other people’s feelings are of little importance.  As they are the favourites in my Mother-in-law’s eyes they can do no wrong. So if they want something MIL will make sure they get it.  When they are rude to us – well “I don’t really have time for this” is MIL’s response to us.

The old me:  put up with this rubbish attitude and just keep all the anger inside.  Okay that is a lie….I have a blog.

The slightly more assertive me:  Tells MIL that we aren’t putting up with BIL and SIL’s rudeness anymore.  We aren’t even going to bother making an effort to see them and they aren’t getting gifts (which they rudely don’t reciprocate) any longer. 

Needless to say the dinner on day 4 is not pleasant.

Day 5:

A course I’ve been wanting to do is being offered at work.  I know the basics but it would be great to know how to do the fancy stuff should I ever need it.  Unfortunately this falls on a Friday I’ve booked myself a spa day.  I have been dreaming about this relaxing day for ages and cannot postpone as I’ve planned it around a weekend away and it is long drive for one day.

The old me:  Try to re-schedule things.  I don’t want to look disinterested in learning further at work

The slightly more assertive me:  sends an e-mail confirming I am away but would be interested if there is another one planned for a different day.

Day 6:

Planning a double date with a friend.

The old me:  Leave the decision making up to others. 

The slightly more assertive me:  suggest a restaurant I love, e-mailed a copy of the menu, suggested suitable dates, chose one that suits hubby and I best and then make the booking.

Day 7:

Giving feedback regarding something I’m not happy with.

The old me:  say what the person is wanting to hear.

The slightly more assertive me:  say what I want to say in a nice but forceful way.  Constructive criticism can go along way.

The verdict:

The girls night out stayed at the orginal date,  my parents were understanding about the family gathering and I managed to get a spot doing the course at work later in the year.

Some people were not impressed I didn’t join the committee and my mother-in-law will probably be pissed off for quite some time.

It doesn’t sound like much if you have always been an assertive person.  But for me who lets others take the lead, who goes along with things when I’m not keen and who just battles to say no, it was a big deal.  A week of saying what I wanted to, putting myself first and in cases being a little selfish has left me with the realisation that saying no is not a sin.  Neither is standing up for yourself and letting others know what you want.

xxx

 

 

by

Thursday ramblings

July 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

Wow it has been a long week!

Dinner with the in-laws on Monday.  Overdoing it at gym Tuesday and Wednesday (perhaps to get rid of stress from Monday??)  Running around and generally just feeling a bit stressed out – that sums up my week so far.

I am so ready for the weekend to start and to do some relaxing :) Last weekend I had my parents and sister over for lunch and I did the cooking.  I’m not much of an expert in the kitchen but everyone enjoyed it.  Hubby even asked that I make some pastry tarts which I made last Sunday for dinner tomorrow night.  I’ll just need to get a salad or something to go with it and then supper is sorted.

Saturday is a hubby and I day.  A real us day as we like to call it.  We are going to do a day trip - leave early and arrive in time for breakfast.  I love spur of the moment day trips and we plan on taking our time on Saturday and then having a date night in the evening.  I’ve already made the booking – trying out a restaurant we haven’t eaten at before in Town.

Sunday is going to be a slow and chilled out day.  May attempt some decluttering and may actually just spend hours reading and drinking tea.  Who knows.

Have a great Thursday everyone.

xxx

Switch to our mobile site